Masters Journey.

 

Who would have thought, me, a boy born and bred in Manurewa South Auckland would be at this very moment in time gunning to acquire my "Masters qualification". At this very moment I am very grateful and blessed to receive the chance to get amongst the process of this high levelled study but it was all because of the belief of my Roscommon School Whanau and of course the lord himself. Having the ability to study while out of class is such a massive deal for me as an educator because imagine still teaching full time and studying this type of qualification at the same time? All I can say is that it will be really tough. My hat goes off to teachers who are in this sort of position right now. 

The essays, the readings, the lecturers and the constant voice reminding "hey you have work to do" while watching Netflix lol sends this freezing chill down my spine. The chill of guilt, because I know I have a job to do and that is to make my family, friends and colleagues proud. This expectation can have a wavering effect on one's mind because I sometimes think why me? I have never seen myself as a researcher or a person that analyses data let alone present data in front of an audience because eventually this is going to be the case. Don't get me wrong I am confident in front of an audience and this is how I have painted myself to the public but sometimes you don't know what to do but to be that guy who is always in front. 
Then I hear this echo in the background saying you are just afraid, afraid to change, afraid to accept the fact that you are just not good enough for this type of work yet! You preach to the students every single time be a risk taker! take risks! make mistakes! I guess it's time for you to take on some of your own advice. I remember seeing a quote by Kobe Bryant himself! He states that " his insane level of confidence came from knowing he’d done all he could to prepare, it taught me that anytime I’m nervous it means I didn’t prepare enough". 

What a quote! I'm in the midst of my own thoughts at the moment where I am constantly thinking about what is it that I want to have an impact on? What is the change? What is the opportunity? The two words that constantly come to mind are "Samoan Heritage! You know this never used to be important to me. I never was taught my Samoan culture in a deep and meaningful way. It was knowledge absorbed accidentally if that is even a real thing! I realise that it's just not enough to fully understand my culture and my language through just listening and hearing and reciting! This is how I was indulged in the language. I have no regrets. I appreciate my experiences my parents gave me because it has definitely shaped my character and my attitude towards my culture. What I am really saying is that there needs to be a lot more opportunities for children like me to critically think about culture and Gagana Samoa because it is one thing to know but it is another to live and breathe it! That is my mission or my vision for myself and my students. 

finding the teacher in me to deliberately provide opportunities for my students to really understand their heritage and culture and therefore being able to live it respectfully in our cultural ways! Developing the metalinguistics of Gagana Samoa so students feel like they are not just reciting, memorising but fully understanding by explaining and evaluating their perspectives of our heritage. Don't get me wrong there is a place for memorising and reciting but this is not the be all, end all to learning a language. 
Imagine an online tool that students could navigate through where they not only learn about our culture and traditions but also learn how language works in Gagana Samoa. This could challenge students linguistically therefore provide a platform where students learn how to start communicating Gagana Samoa by listening, reading, writing and speaking! This sounds really hard to do. Nothing comes easy, we actually have to work hard to reap the blessings! At the moment this is my idea, how this will come to fruition I have no idea right now. What I do know is that bilingualism is very powerful and has so many advantages and benefits for our students. I'll just dump my thoughts here so it gives me clarity about what I am trying to achieve in completing my Masters. It sounds a lot but this is how I am thinking at the moment and writing about it just seems to give me peace lol Oh well let's see where this leads me.