Whats bugging me?

My Parents. 

My blessings.

My Family!

Today I decided to make an effort to not only exercise but cap the time I eat during the day. So first real meal at 2pm and last meal before 8pm. I have no idea what to expect but it is worth a try. Also at the back of my mind are a lot of other priorities that you know every other person might be thinking about as well. Our mortgage is so expensive at the moment and my wife is on minimum wage. Me and my beautiful wife are also blessed with 4 beautiful blessings, Faith, Hope, Anayah-Rose and Prince Jireh. Lord I acknoledge without your forgiveness and your blessing upon my lil family we wouldn't have any children let alone have anywhere to raise our children. Although the Mortgage is expensive I am grateful and blessed to have our own home to raise our blessings. 

budgeting in todays day is very hard. Sometimes we live on pay check to pay check. I hate that I always have to go in overdraft all the time because we just dont have enough. It so hard to get out of overdraft when everything just comes up like family stuff and church commitments. Sometimes I wish I just had some breathing space. My bank is probably thinking why am I also going in overdraft? it is definitely not a good look for me as they do lend or let alone help anyone who continues to go in overdraft. Arrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! 

I have also come to a reality that I have to sell my Toyota Crown Athlete which is dear to my heart. I love this car, I love the way it drives, the exhaust sound is loud how I like it and the interior shouts the word luxury. Although this car is very important to me it is not important than my family. The phrase I used in my previous paragraph stating "I need breathing space" well selling my car is going to provide that for me and my family. I know further down the track I will be able to buy me another JDM car that makes me happy. 

A win for me lately is getting the warrant of fitness passed for both our family car and my JDM. took a while to get it but we made it. Another win for my is my wife is finally going to get her level 7 qualification which will mean she will get paid what she is worth and she will be able to working a primary as well. You know I love my wife so much she is such a hard working person also serves her family, church and community well. The fact that she is trying to start her learning again again is a win for me I love seeing my wife get ahead in life not only for her family but for herself because she can do all things through christ. 

The Tatau! you know what I really want this so traditional treasure so bad I dont care about the pain it is going to bring. After seeing my brother in law get the tatoo it drew me closer to the art. Not because I wanted to show off or wanted to copy my brother in law but I wanted it because it is apart of my identity and its the mark of a leader who serves his family, church and community It bring so much Mana and ancestry connection. This the reason why I want it. Although I was born in New Zealand, I feel this urge or this voice telling me to get it. I feel a responsibility not only to get the markings but to live the  Gagana Samoa way. There is only one thing that is holding me back and only my wife knows lol but it shouldn't be a problem but it is a problem for being a big guy! I spoke to Vaga who got his Tatau done he said he was conscious of being big as well and what people would think but he looked past this and got it done anyway. I also look at it as if I am going to sell my car the tatau will be a reminder of this sacrifice lol but yeah money is going to be the challenge. It is going to cost $10,000 for me and my wife. I really want it done before 2026. 

We went to see my parent's today it is always a blessing to go and see my parents and siblings and the uso's. My poor parent's one day they are going to leave. I dont think I will ever be ready for this to happen but god knows my prayer. I remember crying out to the lord to please provide many years for my parents to live on this temporary world so we can continue to show them our love. My parents are such obeying parents. What I mean is that they honoured there parents so well. The promise in the bible states if you honour your mother and your father you will live a long life on earth. Thats my parents. My father who is a hard working man and my mother who is a loving mother. They both have the love of GOD in them through the way the speak and live through action.  I there are many who have lost their parents and wish they were here today. I cant begin to imagine what that is like. All I know is that when this day does come I need to be confident that I done everything in my power to make my parents happy. 

Lord I know in the bible you mentioned that I dont need to worry because you have everything under control. I believe this so much. All these materialistic things are nothing what matters is the love of god that I need to lead my wife, children to the king. Lord I ask for your guidance your protection and your miracle working power to sort out my dads name. It has been such a long time and I am going to attempt it again to get my dads name cleared so they can buy their very first home. I pray this in the name of Jesus you will provide the outcome. There are so many things going on at the moment I just need to clear the closet and maintain discipline. Easier said then done. lol